Setting boundaries in your personal life

This month we’ve covered how valuable setting boundaries can be in the workplace, as well as diving deeper into the distinction between soft and hard boundaries. One of the most common struggles I see my coaching clients dealing with is managing a healthy work/life balance and so I would like to shine a light on how setting boundaries in your private life is equally important. Not only will it have a positive impact on your personal relationships and well-being but it will undoubtedly spill into the way you carry yourself at work as well.

When thinking about how you can apply this to your personal life, it can be helpful to consider the seven different types of boundaries.

🌱 Emotional: how emotionally available you are to others
“As much as I would like to be of support to you right now, I do not have emotional capacity”

🌱 Mental: having sovereignty over your own thoughts, values, and beliefs
“I respect your perspective, although we’ll have to agree to disagree”

🌱 Physical: nurturing privacy, personal space, and optimal physical health
“I prefer not to shake hands when meeting new people”

🌱 Internal: regulating the energy expended on self-versus those around you
“I have met up with so many people the last couple days, I really need the weekend to myself”

🌱 Conversational: topics and conversations that you do not feel comfortable engaging in
“I prefer not to be a part of this conversation”

🌱 Material: monetary decisions, regulating how much you give to others
“I splurged on a new carpet last week, so I choose not to buy more furniture impulsively”

🌱 Time: how much time you spend with someone or on an activity or task
“I’m giving myself 30 minutes to clear the garage”

Inspired by: Positive Psychology

Once you have narrowed down your wants and needs, you can start defining your boundaries and formulating clear ways of communicating them to the people around you. Know that it is perfectly okay to state limitations to people who are on the receiving end of your emotional resources. When someone rejects your boundaries and/or violates them, then this is a clear indicator of a relationship that may be off balance, or potentially problematic. Restate your boundary and if it is not respected, withdraw calmly. After all, your biggest service to others is taking care of your own well-being first and foremost.